Saturday, March 2, 2013

You take the breath right out of me.


So hey guys, just another post c: 
Life has been pretty hard for me and family nowadays, in terms of income. Yeah, but I guess I can't really complain cos yknow, my parents education werent really high, so it's kinda hard for them to get a job. And I havent been really eating well either. It's like, yeah I have my money to bring to school and eat lunch, but sometimes, I have to starve myself in the afternoon for afternoon classes cos I'm saving my money for lunch the next day. My parents are fighting regularly too. Its kind of hard to say, but everytime they fight about something, I will start tearing up and be like a shitty coward and hide myself in the room. And once I'm in the room, no body knows except me. Cos every one is busy fighting and going against each other. I wanna help, really.. But I just dont know how. I know I can't afford anything much.. And my parents can't buy much things for me either. But, as long as there is enough food on the table and they can afford to pay my school fees, I'm okay with it. Cos, without education, we can go nowhere. That's why I'm studying real hard this year to get a scholarship and make my parents proud. 
And of course, I know its hard since I can't really afford any tuition or any assesment books to help me, but I will make it through somehow. Cos I know that I'm not the only one who suffers like this. There are people who are much more worst than me. Some don't even have a home. 
Some times when I don't eat during afternoon, people will ask me, " why arent you eating?" Sometimes i will just tell them that I'm not hungry. Which is true, most of the time. But at times, its just cos I cant afford it. And when some people find out that I actually dont have enough money, they would lend me money. But, I dont want that. I dont want people to pity me. I just want them to treat me normally, as one of their friends. And not one of those friends who can't afford pretty much everything.
And since I'm taking a very important exam this year, I can't be too stressed out about this. But what worries me most is my parents not being able to pay for my examination fees. Its like.. $280 fucking dollars. Sigh, 

Sometimes  I wish I had enough money for my education. I know I can't complain. 
So I just have to accept reality. 

x.

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