Thursday, December 19, 2013

results.

N levels results to be taken in a few hours. My heart is pumping so hard, its about to come out from my chest. 
I can feel the pressure killing me, I wish to die a hole.
What if I failed? What can I do? My parents will kill me.
I studied my brains off and I did my very best, I just wish they could see it that way. 
I don't mind if I got 19 points, thats enough, really.
But nothing above 20. 
Thinking about this really makes me go crazy. 
The first time I feel so nervous and fear overwhelms my body. 
If I pass, I'll be the happiest person in the world. 
I will jump around like mad and smile to EVERY SINGLE ONE and thank Allah a billion times because he was the one who helped me pass. 
But thats the thing. 
IF I PASS.
WHAT IF I FAILED? 
this could be my last post guys, my laptop and phone could be taken away once I get my results and found out that I actually failed. 
I'm so scared I feel like crying right now. My chest hurts so much, the pressure is killing me. 
I never wanted to disappoint my parents, thats why I ACTUALLY studied for this exam. But what's the point of studying hard if I failed right? 
Right...
Everyone else would pass cos they are smarter than me.
I'm the stupid one. 
I'm so stupid. 
Why was I even born ? 

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