Thursday, December 19, 2013


N levels results to be taken in a few hours. My heart is pumping so hard, its about to come out from my chest. 
I can feel the pressure killing me, I wish to die a hole.
What if I failed? What can I do? My parents will kill me.
I studied my brains off and I did my very best, I just wish they could see it that way. 
I don't mind if I got 19 points, thats enough, really.
But nothing above 20. 
Thinking about this really makes me go crazy. 
The first time I feel so nervous and fear overwhelms my body. 
If I pass, I'll be the happiest person in the world. 
I will jump around like mad and smile to EVERY SINGLE ONE and thank Allah a billion times because he was the one who helped me pass. 
But thats the thing. 
this could be my last post guys, my laptop and phone could be taken away once I get my results and found out that I actually failed. 
I'm so scared I feel like crying right now. My chest hurts so much, the pressure is killing me. 
I never wanted to disappoint my parents, thats why I ACTUALLY studied for this exam. But what's the point of studying hard if I failed right? 
Everyone else would pass cos they are smarter than me.
I'm the stupid one. 
I'm so stupid. 
Why was I even born ? 


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