Thursday, January 30, 2014

death of you'

I honestly dislike when someone disrespects someone else.Its fucking stupid when you disrespects their privacy. Its fucking childish if you make fun of that certain someone just because they're different from you.
So what if they are? Is there a problem being different?
Because you people are so alike, its so fake.
Fake, plastic bitches.
You're like a balloon, I can just pop your body anytime, its just a matter of WHEN.
People with guts like yours, should just pop and disappear.
Don't think you're fucking cool just cuz you have shit loads of friends.
Um, excuse me, just because you have countless friends, doesn't mean they're stay loyal to you.
One day, you'll get into trouble with the world, and slowly, one by one, they'll slip away and leave you the fuck alone.
And by then, don't even try to come and beg me for forgiveness about what I'm going to do
Things I do , are fucking scary.
If you don't believe me, try me.
Mess with me, and I'll fucking destroy you bit by little bit.
You aren't worth my time,
but toying with you will be enjoyable since you like being the mean bitch.
Don't be surprised when your life starts to get bad.
Cos I will ruin all of you, and I never failed.
I may be this quiet emotional girl you never seemed to notice.
But this girl has a lot of things going in her mind, and have a lot of people who's backing her up.
This girl will be the death of you.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

someone `

Someone told me that I should always stand up for myself and whats right. But up till now, never did I had the balls to stand up for justice and that's quite disappointing really. I always stood at the back, just kept quite and just listen. But no one really knows what I'm thinking, because I was never allowed to. Everyone else thinks they're right, and I'm wrong. but its okay, since I'm already used to it.

Someone told me to be strong, to make the right choices in life. I hope I did and I still think back. Wondering whether I had made the right choices. It fears me sometimes. The things I had gone through before, and the things I'm am going to face in the future soon. I'm going in a path, no one actually thought I would. Everyone thought I would go to the 'better' path but only one told me to go wherever I want, as long as I make it later on. '

Someone encourages me to have dreams and hopes for my future. Told me to do what I want, and never discouraged me. Always advice me when I'm lost and got me back in that bumpy road.

I learnt how to never judge a person before knowing them. No matter how mean, bitchy and wild they look, you will never know how much that person has gone through. You will never know what is bothering them because many people never really gotten to know you. And its nice how you thought me this, because after you, I find it really easy to make friends who stays true to me.

It gets hard everyday, and everyday, this someone keeps me strong. Told me to never be afraid no matter how many people hates you.

One was hated, but one never gave up in faith. One always keep the faith.

Are you reading this? (I know you know who you are) Cuz if you are, I just wanna let you know how much you have changed me.

Monday, January 27, 2014

life ;

What is life? No one knows the real definition is actually, but all in all, its just basically what we face every single day, hour, minute and second. 
It maybe shitty it may be good, but we all have to know, that everything happens for a reason, no matter what we do.
But here are things that I have learnt in my 17 years of living ;
  1. Life doesnt always goes the way you want it to be.
  2. People can always betray you now matter how nice and friendly they seem to be.
  3. You can't always be nice to people.
  4. Stand up for what is right, no matter how risky it maybe. Cuz one day, you'll get payed back for the good you did.
  5. Always smile and don't let people bring you down.
  6. If people tend to tease you and bully you, don't provoke them anymore. Just ignore, move forward and they'll eventually get bored of disturbing you.
Even though life has its shitty days, there are times where you can be truly happy when you spent your times with the people you love.  

Life has its happiness. 

Don't always look at the unhappiness in your world, just try to look at a different perspective and life will be okay. Don't worry, I'll always be there for you if you need someone to talk to. Just FB pm me or DM me in Twitter.
I will always be here.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Sunday ;

I have never felt so alone. 

Like.. today, i feel like shit. I don't know why, but I just do. What's the point of making friends when in the end, some of them decides to back stab you like a motherfucker?
I know, I have my own bunch of friends. 
but i can't help it, i still feel this loneliness deep within.I see all around, couples, best friends.. And me, here, alone, in this dark room almost crying like a bitch.
It hurts. 
feeling this way, and thinking to yourself that you have no one to talk to and share everything too. 
I can't talk about loving a girl to anyone.
I can't talk about my complications at home to anyone.
I can't express how I feel to anyone.
Because no one will be able to understand it and stay by my side.
What will I become in the future? 
I'm a loser that all the popular kids find crazy, 
I'm that kid who makes friends with those quieter ones.
but those quieter ones are the ones who are the most nicest, friendliest and loyal because they stay true.
Oh am I glad to have met the friends I have made, and let go the ones who have hurt me and betrayed me.

But again, no matter what, this loneliness can't seem to be erased. 

It's always hurting inside.

Friday, January 24, 2014

being yourself.

whats wrong with being different eh?
I wonder.
Like, seriously, what we do in our lives, isint really supposed to affect other people.
What we do with our life, is actually our decision, and its up to us.
What risks we take, its our problem.
Because it is OUR life, and not theirs.
So why are we all so afraid of being ourselves?
Being the real person is much much better than being a fake bitch.
Get out of that shell and be who you truly are.
If you're a bitch, then stop being nice to everyone and show people what kind of bitch you are.
If you are actually nice, then be nice and stop treating people like shit and feel bad inside.
If you're lonely, make friends and talk to people.
If you hate company, keep one or two friends by your side and stay loyal to them and make sure they do the same, cuz not everyone is as loyal as you think they are.
If you need love, craving for it, find it.
Get out and find your romeo (but dont be so desperate la), skali he stuck in a toilet bowl or something.

if you're gay, its okay. 

because we are all different. Its okay to be different.
be yourself.
If you're a girl, and you love the same gender, then its okay.
Its still love.
No matter what gender, skin colour he or she in.
Its still love.
No one can stop you from being who you are.
If you're a guy, and you love the same sex,
its still okay.
Its always love.
It always was.
Never change who you are for other people.
Don't bother about what they say and how many times they insult you.
Because you know deep inside, that you can't change no matter how much you tried to.
I know that feel.
Don't die, just because others don't accept you.
There are bound to be others who will accept you for who you are.
No matter what sexuality you love.

Because it is okay.

Always be yourself, because being similar is too mainstream.
No matter how people look at you and how they react to yourself,
don't worry bout it.
Cuz their judgement is not worth it.
As long as you are happy with yourself, then that's okay.
Because all of us has something we are good at.
You may not have found it yet, but one day, you will, and one day, you'll learn to accept it and treasure it.

be who you are.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

train of thoughts

There's actually so many things going through my mind. What I should do and what I should not do. What I should say and what I shouldn't. 
Cos one mistake, and someone gets hurt. 
What's the point of it, really? To show how big and bold you are?
Why don't you just pick on someone your own size.
Or better, just speak up to that person you are talking bad behind their back about.
Do that, and I'll fucking kill you.
Cos that's my friend you're hurting.
I don't know and don't care what she did to you.
But I'm sure, she doesn't deserve this hatred. 
What would you feel, if someone decides to go up to you and tell you, " you're fucking ugly. just go to hell you fucking bitch. " 
What would you feel? 
Would you be happy about it?
Think about it, and reflect.
Wouldn't you feel hurt too? 
and those people out there who are being bullied.
you shouldn't feel so bad about yourself.
so what if there are people who hates you? 
I have my haters too, but I have my friends who loves me for who I am and accepted me.
And I'm sure you will find those group of people too.
Trust me.
Don't bring yourself down and keep looking up.
Don't let those bullies affect you,
because its not worth your tears.
cuz in the end,
they're all fucking cowards. 

Monday, January 20, 2014

I just can't.

I keep telling myself, that I should let you go. But I can't. Why can't I ? It hurts so badly inside, everytime I see you happier with somebody else. I cry at night, thinking about what our love could have been. It hurts me to think that you actually left.. me all alone, being the only one who should move on. Did I not mean a thing to you?
Why do you still mean the world to me? 
I don't understand. 
Everything was perfect.
And suddenly you couldn't except how difficult and complicated my life was.
It hurts so badly inside, I just can't explain it.. I just want to cry my eyes out all day long.
Thats how much you meant to me.
I know you wouldn't even know I exists right now, but there are times when I think back about the things we have done.
The things we had talked about.
How my parents were your parents...
Everything was so.. beautiful.
I finally thought I had found my Romeo.
And damn, was I wrong.
Because you hurt me bad.
Really bad...
I'm hurting inside.

Life in ITE!

So I guess by now, you should have realized, that I, Izzah Raihanah has entered ITE East(Simei)! And no, you shouldn't be surprised cuz it has been my decision for quite awhile now. 
So far, two weeks in ITE is quite interesting... Like, I made new friends. (Horny ones too) And some of them are REAL nice. I made a few like Aisyah, Suzana, Julniee, Theresa, Jassmin and Celeste. I think without them, my ITE life would be pretty much boring cuz well..
It was them who made friends with me..
And that's good cuz well, I'm such a loner.
An introvert. Someone who doesn't well... talk to people well, yaknow? 
But hey, at least I made a few friends I could rely on for laughter and happiness in class.
We basically laugh about most things and its funny cuz well, we talk about lame things mostly, hahaha.
And again, I'm glad I made friends I could lean on la. Don't have to worry about just shutting up in class. 
so far, so good.

Office computing is quite boring but sitting with Suzana & Theresa is quite happening well cuz, again, we talk about random stuff hahaha.
Math is tiring and brain-wrecking but the teacher is quite hilarious. (I think its just cuz he's old and the way he speaks is different) Meh, I'm not kidding, he is funny~
Business & Marketing lessons are awesome too! Cuz Mr Rafael is awesome is hell. He's lessons are reaaaaaaaaaaaaal interesting and I don't think there's a time when I actually hated his lesson. (Except for some parts which I'm not gonna mention cuz there are a few kaypos layin around)
Communicating skills by Miss Leong is fun too. Though we have to do retarded activities which are somewhat childish. But some of them are real fun. 
Life's fine, everything's fine.
No complains, no regrets. 
Just living life how it should be.
Just gotta buck up this time and be creative in studying.
All the best guys!
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