Friday, May 2, 2014

today's


Sigh. Today was a long long day and it was real difficult, really. Banana was ridiculously a hottie and I cant even.. I cant see him being with me. Hais. 
So I stalked my ex today. and I'm like on the verge of crying. DUDE, WHY CANT I GET THE FUCK OVER YOU. Why is my mind so... sigh.
But I spent  the day with Chris, Noorjan and Celeste and yeah.. it turned out better. i think. I hope.
My mind cant stop thinking how lonely I am even though Im filled with laughter and happiness all day long. 
I just cant take this pain anymoreeeeeeeeeeee.
Every single day man. It hurts me like one motherfucker. I just cant help it and wake up in the middle of the night and think about the things that I shouldnt think about. 
And then there it is, the tears of this manly girl. 
I try not to cry, but it doesnt work. Only to make it worst. 
I remember the times we spent together. 
The nights and days on the phone. 
How we were always on skype and we didnt had each others numbers.
And once we did, we talked like every single day.
But I got... complicated. 
Desperate.
And I regret that truly. Which something that I dont do often. 
I remember our first kiss. 
Right after that scene when Ron and Hermoine did. 
Why did you have to push my hopes so high and push it down like a real asshole.
sigh.
youre a fucking asshole i swear but I cant stop thinking about you..
IM TRYING TO GET THE FUCK OVER YOU BUT agh..
goodbye.


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