Slothful *

“naive. ”

breakdowns

Monday, June 23, 2014 || Monday, June 23, 2014

I don't know what's wrong with me today.
I woke up at 3am, perspiring and I had tears.
I honestly dont know what happened.
I went back to sleep, woke up again at 10am and again, tears.
My mood, completely destroy because of god knows what reason.
I sat at the corner of my room, thinking about the shit in life and my heart started to ache.
I thought to myself that I should die and earth wasnt the place for me.
I got up, slowly walked to the shower.
Sat there, and cried my lungs out.
I wanted to scream, but no voice came out.
I punched my chest, but my screams were never heard.
The tears just kept falling, so many emotions carried.
I honestly don't know the reason behind those tears,
but it honestly hurt.
I was so tempted to self inflict, but i couldnt.
I am clean for so long, i just cant.
I dropped the knife and left the shower.
My heart still aches.
god help me.

the lost kid

Sunday, June 15, 2014 || Sunday, June 15, 2014

His mother threw him against the walls,

"mother stop!" his voice echoes through the halls.

He fell on his knees,

bleeding and not at ease.

Crying for help,

no one heard his yelp.

His mother slapped him across his face,

blood from his head, he taste.

He built up all strength, got up,

out the door, he fell out.

Ran away as fast as he could,

coming back to this house he never would.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He's a lost child,

trying to find love,

out in the wild.

Its been five days.

Running and walking thru the woods,

he's hungry, searching for food.

He lays down on the grass to rest,

looking up, staring at all the nests.

Mothers built for their children,

safe, sound and never threatened.

" be gone child, no one wants you."

He remembered the words that were so damn true.

A tear he sheds,

and above the beautiful sky, dead.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

His mother staring up the sky

five days, the time pass by.

" Where has that boy went to?"

She wondered about what to do.

The flashback came,

the blood trickling down her son's face.

She clenched her fists tight,

and hit her head on the walls, dazed.

The sound of her son's screams,

replaying in the ears like broken dreams.

Ran out of the house, panting.

She wondered where that boy was staying.

She began her search,

into this cruel, sick world.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He wakes up, broke into sweat.

Oh, he thought he was dead.

He looked around in this unfamiliar place.

Staring from afar, a beautiful face.

He came and held the boy,able to feel the pain.

As the clouds become darker, soon to rain.

He carried him in a cave,

" hi, my name is dave."

Hearing his husky voice,

the boy pushed him away with all his force.

"Please dont hurt me, I'm already broken."

And into a deep sleep the boy had fallen.

to be continued.

i need somewhere to begin with

|| Sunday, June 15, 2014

I fell in love once before, never did I knew it was such a scary feeling. But now, I wont be falling for that anymore. We broke up last night but I think I misplaced my heart somewhere in your basement. Now, why the heck did I do that for? As much as I miss you, I dont want to see you nor do I want to hear your sweet voice. I don't ever want to talk anymore but if you happen to find my heart, I'd be much obliged if you'd drop it off at my front door. And don't leave a note cause I swear if you wrote me, I'd probably take it all back. I'm trying so hard.. and God only knows, I must stay on my toes. Cause I cant allow myself to do that. Yeah, I always wanted you to stay but now I'm wishing you away.

if this is what love feels like, Im done with it.

Us in a room, you'd whisper to me and we'd watch some tv as we lay on your living room floor. I miss the things we did but I dont want to see you nor do I want to hear your sweet voice. Dont call me, I dont want to talk anymore but if you hapoen to think of me. Dont think that I will be waiting around like before. And dont call my phone cause I'm feeling alone and I'd probably take it all back. As far as I know I used to always want you to stay but now... I'm wishing you away. Yeah, if this is how love feels like... I'm done with it.

I fell in love once before, now I wont be falling for that anymore.

Song is I fell in love once by Chase Coy.