“naive. ”
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break the empire
Monday, February 2, 2015 || Monday, February 02, 2015
[Let the ocean take me. ]
So lately, things.. has been quiet and I somewhat enjoy this peace that I have obtained from sacrificing the things I used to love. These weeks that I've walked side by side with my friends, I've learnt that happiness can be achieved not only by being loved. It can be achieved by spending times with the ones you truly care and feel belonged. We tend to make decisions that will mess up our future, but we were all young once, we all we gotta do is to learn. To never make the same mistake twice and if we did, stop immediately and do something that will benefit you. There were reasons to my sacrifice and I really don't want to list all of it. Partly was also because I've lost all emotions and I could not feel. "Faking a smile" may sound cliche but I guess to put it in a simple sentence, lets just say that what I felt before wasn't there anymore.
To be honest, no one knows where it went and why did it leave. Emotions, are so difficult to control, its like a rebellious child. You try to contain it yet by the end of the day, all hell goes loose and you find yourself exposed by a set of anger, fear and sadness. However, I will not lie that I am healing and finding myself, even though it is taking quite awhile.
I've cried to myself and I told myself how much I'm so done with everything and I wanted to cry. But with all of this, I know that God has something else in stored for me. We might never know what it is, but we gotta believe that everything will be okay.
Sure, there were times whereby I really wanted to leave and run away, but my mother loves me, and I woulnt never do anything to hurt her.
All in all, we are all humans and we tend to make mistakes. If you fail, get up and try again but never block someone's way just because you are struggling to get over the tall hill. And if you fail again, remember why you decided to this. Remember your willingness and your strength. Forget your worries, fear and melancholy.
